Monday, July 20, 2009
Pregnancy and Poison Oak
Poison oak grows shrubby and close to the ground and it's hard to imagine that a plant this innocuous looking could cause so much damage but if you have a bad immune reaction to it and you also happen to be pregnant (or your wife, more likely, is pregnant), prepare to suffer for a long time.
According to a midwives, doctors, and naturopaths, poison oak is so much worse when pregnant than in real life. In real life it's horrible (though some people only get mild cases or have no reaction at all). In pregnancy you can expect the site of the infection to swell up like someone inflated your body part, to ooze yellow pus, to itch uncontrollably, and to take WEEKS AND WEEKS AND WEEKS (did we say weeks) TO GO AWAY.
If your pregnant wife gets poison oak, try to be very very nice to her.
The best thing is prevention -- of course. But, duh, you knew that already and you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't get it.
After that, what? Really bad cases are treated with an injection of steroids or orally taken steroids (prednazone is the steroid of choice) but you can't take those if you are pregnant unless your reaction is so severe you are in a death grip because these steroids are known to be toxic to fetuses.
They are also toxic to adults.
Our friend was out hiking. He pet a dog on the trail (animals don't react to the urushiol that makes humans so sick) and then went to relieve himself in the woods. He used his hand to guide the stream, and ended up with poison oak on his johnson. Ouch. The doc gave him a shot in the butt. It helped the poison oak infection but also gave him 'roid rage, turning him from a mild mannered never-raises-his-voice peace-loving dude into a screaming angry freak who got a red card in a soccer match.
Not the kind of medicine you want your fetus absorbing.
But don't believe anything you read on the Internet about poison oak because ... IT DOESN'T WORK. None of it works. Not to be negative or anything but if your wife gets poison oak, hunker down for a lot of pain, a lot of really awful itching, and almost no relief of any kind.
Cold compresses do help, especially ice.
We tried two homeopathic remedies -- Apis and the classic poison oak one, Rhus Tox. They did nothing.
Benadryl taken orally or applied topically helped a little. But only long enough to sleep comfortably until the drug wore off and then the infection--actually it's an overactive immune response the urushiol itself isn't the problem--took over again and sleep was gone. Think hours and hours of itchy agony.
Technu only helps if you apply it when you are exposed. You can try it. The fumes will make a pregnant woman woozy and nauseous but do nothing to help the poison oak.
Also, expect it to spread, because it will. All over your poor spouse's body. From the site of the infection it will migrate systemically to other places. If you get it on your leg, expect it to show up on your index finger.
It's so awful.
And you are in for at least three weeks of agony.
After the initial wound was superating for days, we gave in and used a topical steroid cream that offered some relief and seemed to help the reaction slow down. The small print on the label information said it is KNOWN to be secreted by the liver and to be TOXIC TO RAT FETUSES but the doctor said it was worth it or we would end up in the hospital. Maybe the baby we're expecting will be born with two heads. Let's hope not.
Try other stuff. Search the internet. Get your bed filthy with baking soda goop and calamine. But the best thing is really ice cold water, plenty of rest, a non-inflammatory diet, tons of vitamin C, and a hugely generous serving of patience.
You're in for a long haul. We're right there with you.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
On Boredom and Parenting
For the record, I don't think James has ever admitted being bored while parenting but here's a column I wrote awhile ago for the Ashland Daily Tidings that I thought might resonate.

On Boredom and Raising Children
By Jennifer Margulis
I got a blithe email from a friend today saying she was having a fantastic time this holiday season with her two children at home on vacation. When I mentioned to another friend who has three kids that I, on the other hand, was going crazy with my munchkins, she looked at me as blankly as if I were speaking Chinese.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice full of faux sympathy, “I had the feeling you were having problems.”
It was clear from her condescending tone that she and her brood were in perfect harmony, that kids in general do not drive one crazy, and that she found it impossible to imagine being in a similar state of frustration and boredom.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way but why is there such a stigma attached to admitting that sometimes parenting leaves you so bored you feel like your brain is drying up? If your experience as a parent is or was all candy cane sweet and apple pie homey, read no further (why would you?) but I am hereby opening the door to my parenting closet and telling this truth: I get bored sometimes (shh, it’s a secret).
“Mommy, let’s play Bad Guys!” My 4-year-old son suggests while his older sisters are at school and we’re spending the day together. Bad Guys is his favorite game. He’s the Bad Guy. I’m the Good Guy. He does bad things. I die. I come back to life. He decides to turn to a life of good and then we are both good guys and we root out the bad guys and … force them to be good (or kill them). That’s the game. My son can play it for hours, in many iterations on the same general theme. My son’s 4- and 5-year-old friends can also play it for hours. I am 38 and I can play it for about five minutes. Then, as I run away from the Bad Guy at my heels, I start picking up toys off the floor, finding that tidying the house is actually a rewarding activity when compared to Bad Guys.
So then we decide to play Chutes and Ladders … for about ten hours. Since Etani’s newly four, he makes up his own rules to this game. His rules involve zooming his piece around the board like a racecar or hopping it over all the squares like a bunny, never going down a chute, and winning, usually all in the first spin. It’s so much fun to play Chutes and Ladders “My Way” and involves so much uproarious giggling—from both of us—that we have to do it over and over.
I’m so bored I find myself noticing there are only two boys on the board who aren’t white, and both of them are doing something naughty. There is one African-American girl planting tomatoes who gets to climb a ladder. Is this game contributing to racist notions in the United States? Why are so many more black women going to college than black men? What am I doing to fight global oppression?
“Mommy!” Etani cries, interrupting the first thought process I’ve had all morning: “Your turn!”
I suggest we go for a walk. He rides his bicycle and I trot beside him. We’re outside, the air is cold and clear, my son is adorable, the sky is blue, I’m grateful to be alive and be with my child. Later a friend tells me she drove by us and I looked like a glowing and proud mother helping poochie on his bicycle. She’s pregnant with her first baby and she just found out it’s a boy.
“Mommy! I know what!” Etani hollers. “Let’s play Bad Guys and I chase you on my bicycle. Okay?”
I don’t tell Abby the whole truth. She’ll find out soon enough.

On Boredom and Raising Children
By Jennifer Margulis
I got a blithe email from a friend today saying she was having a fantastic time this holiday season with her two children at home on vacation. When I mentioned to another friend who has three kids that I, on the other hand, was going crazy with my munchkins, she looked at me as blankly as if I were speaking Chinese.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice full of faux sympathy, “I had the feeling you were having problems.”
It was clear from her condescending tone that she and her brood were in perfect harmony, that kids in general do not drive one crazy, and that she found it impossible to imagine being in a similar state of frustration and boredom.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way but why is there such a stigma attached to admitting that sometimes parenting leaves you so bored you feel like your brain is drying up? If your experience as a parent is or was all candy cane sweet and apple pie homey, read no further (why would you?) but I am hereby opening the door to my parenting closet and telling this truth: I get bored sometimes (shh, it’s a secret).
“Mommy, let’s play Bad Guys!” My 4-year-old son suggests while his older sisters are at school and we’re spending the day together. Bad Guys is his favorite game. He’s the Bad Guy. I’m the Good Guy. He does bad things. I die. I come back to life. He decides to turn to a life of good and then we are both good guys and we root out the bad guys and … force them to be good (or kill them). That’s the game. My son can play it for hours, in many iterations on the same general theme. My son’s 4- and 5-year-old friends can also play it for hours. I am 38 and I can play it for about five minutes. Then, as I run away from the Bad Guy at my heels, I start picking up toys off the floor, finding that tidying the house is actually a rewarding activity when compared to Bad Guys.
So then we decide to play Chutes and Ladders … for about ten hours. Since Etani’s newly four, he makes up his own rules to this game. His rules involve zooming his piece around the board like a racecar or hopping it over all the squares like a bunny, never going down a chute, and winning, usually all in the first spin. It’s so much fun to play Chutes and Ladders “My Way” and involves so much uproarious giggling—from both of us—that we have to do it over and over.
I’m so bored I find myself noticing there are only two boys on the board who aren’t white, and both of them are doing something naughty. There is one African-American girl planting tomatoes who gets to climb a ladder. Is this game contributing to racist notions in the United States? Why are so many more black women going to college than black men? What am I doing to fight global oppression?
“Mommy!” Etani cries, interrupting the first thought process I’ve had all morning: “Your turn!”
I suggest we go for a walk. He rides his bicycle and I trot beside him. We’re outside, the air is cold and clear, my son is adorable, the sky is blue, I’m grateful to be alive and be with my child. Later a friend tells me she drove by us and I looked like a glowing and proud mother helping poochie on his bicycle. She’s pregnant with her first baby and she just found out it’s a boy.
“Mommy! I know what!” Etani hollers. “Let’s play Bad Guys and I chase you on my bicycle. Okay?”
I don’t tell Abby the whole truth. She’ll find out soon enough.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Rally in Medford, Oregon this Thursday to Support Health Care Reform
Mothers Voices For Health Care Reform (Fathers' too!)
Thursday, June 25, 5 - 6 p.m.
Vogel Plaza
Main & Central
Downtown Medford
A rally to show support for health care reform that will give all parents peace of mind. We support Obama's goal of providing QUALITY AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE FOR ALL.
Wear red on Thursday in heartfelt support of health care reform.
Write to the public officials in your state. In Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley has become an eloquent spokesperson in favor of reform.
Senator Ron Wyden, also a democrat, has NOT signed on to the idea of a public health insurance plan. We need to tell him to get on board the Obama train and to stop being silent. Representative Greg Walden, a Republican, also has not committed to any of the principals of health care reform.
Please send personal letters about the importance of health care reform to Senator Wyden at:
Senator Ron Wyden
310 West 6th Street
Room 118
Medford, OR 97501
To fight the big business interests involved in this debate, we all need to speak up about our support for change. Polls this week by non-partisan polling groups show that 72-83% of Americans support a reform of our nation's current health care system.
For more information, call HEALTH CARE FOR AMERICA NOW at 541-772-4029.
Thursday, June 25, 5 - 6 p.m.
Vogel Plaza
Main & Central
Downtown Medford
A rally to show support for health care reform that will give all parents peace of mind. We support Obama's goal of providing QUALITY AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE FOR ALL.
Wear red on Thursday in heartfelt support of health care reform.
Write to the public officials in your state. In Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley has become an eloquent spokesperson in favor of reform.
Senator Ron Wyden, also a democrat, has NOT signed on to the idea of a public health insurance plan. We need to tell him to get on board the Obama train and to stop being silent. Representative Greg Walden, a Republican, also has not committed to any of the principals of health care reform.
Please send personal letters about the importance of health care reform to Senator Wyden at:
Senator Ron Wyden
310 West 6th Street
Room 118
Medford, OR 97501
To fight the big business interests involved in this debate, we all need to speak up about our support for change. Polls this week by non-partisan polling groups show that 72-83% of Americans support a reform of our nation's current health care system.
For more information, call HEALTH CARE FOR AMERICA NOW at 541-772-4029.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
A Reason to Have a Second Child

This news story in the Oregonian really touched us.
A 14-year-old boy, Baltazar Delgado, woke up in the middle of the night to find his house on fire in Keizer, Oregon. The first thing he did was go into his sisters' room to help them. Though his 10-year-old sister was already awake, his 6-year-old sister was still sleeping in the top bunk. He woke her up and carried her through the smoke and fumes and out of the burning house.
This is what siblings are for: to protect each other, be together, and save each other's lives.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Green Baby Expo in Chico, California

This event looks like it would be great fun for moms, dads, and babies. If anyone goes, let us know. It's sort of last minute, but we're toying with the idea of being there!
Green Baby Expo
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Russia Gives Money, Awards for Big Families

The AP and other news sources around the country (we heard about it on NPR) reported a few days ago that Medvedev had invited moms and dads of large families to the Kremlin to honor them with money and kudos.
Apparently Russia is facing the "threat" of a huge population decline and Medvedev wants his people to go forth and multiply.
The award is called the "Medal of Parental Glory."
I'm not sure a massive decline in homo sapiens is really so much a problem--perhaps it's a solution--if you take a longer view of what's going on with global warming and environmental devastation caused by people but it does seem rather warm and fuzzy that large families are being honored.
Our favorite part of what Medvedev said is that the award should be given to both parents, not just the mothers.
We need more international recognition of the importance of fathers in parenting. Right on Russia.
Now, do you think that family with the 16 children could be convinced to park their cars and bicycle?
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